Help with Recruiting email

Hello all-

I have created this potential recruiting email, and was wondering what feedback anyone may have on this. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Hello,
My name is Trevor Hammond and I am the affiliate marketing specialist with glass.net. I have been looking for potential affiliate sites and saw (URL/Site name) and thought that you would be a great fit for our affiliate program.
Glass.net services include:
• Comparative shopping experience for customers who need to replace auto glass (front windshield, side, or rear)
• Has contracted with local glass shops across the US to compete for customers business. The local glass shops are ranked by a number of criteria (Price, services, features, and a quality ranking score) that are displayed to the consumer.
• The consumer can then make an educated decision about not only the price of the replacement service, but also their quality and additional benefits.
The affiliate program has recently been launched and currently offers:
• $1 per unique customer quote set (the three quotes requiring no personal information)
• $12 for a unique lead (requires personal contact information).
• This offer is an introductory offer only. After the introductory period, the program will maintain a three tiered system with increasing payouts as well as bonuses.
Sign up for our program today at: (link to sign up program)
For further information you can contact me at:
(Contact Information)

Please be honest if it sucks I would like to know.

Thanks in advance for your help

This probably involves more work than you want to hear, but when I get these emails the first thing I reply is "really? What did you see on my site that thought you would make it a good fit with your [x]?"

And normally that's the last I hear from them, or they reply with some completely irrelevant dribble about their product or service.

Take 30 seconds and tell them specifically why it'd be a good fit!

__________________
Joseph Lilly
PartnerWeekly, LLC 702.407.0707 joe.lilly at partnerweekly.com
PartnerWeekly

Joe-

Thank you for the tip, I am spending time finding potential fits for the market and this suggestion will help make the email more personable. It will take a more time, but if it pays off in the end it will be well worth it.

thanks

It will be a LOT more time consuming but I believe it will help get you noticed. There are a lot of great OPMs here who I'm sure also have an opinion on this topic.

__________________
Joseph Lilly
PartnerWeekly, LLC 702.407.0707 joe.lilly at partnerweekly.com
PartnerWeekly

Trevor,

Sorry, I mistakenly edited out your URL as I did not realize you had a new program announcement. Think I put everything back as it was. Welcome and sorry for the confusion.

__________________
Ron - 7 Days A Week Marketing
ABW Best *NEW* Affiliate Manager or OPM 2007
ron @ 7daysaweekmarketing.com | AIM & Yahoo: sevdayweek | MSN: 7-days
Managed Programs at SAS: HolmesStamp.com | Home Gallery Stores

No problem at all...I appreciate your help. I will make sure Ryan responds to you right away.

Trevor

Joe is correct. The only other thing I might suggest it so break up that email in to sections. If I got it, I'd probably read the first part and stop. Grab my attention in different areas of the email.

Good luck. I'll check out your site for glass for my four old VW's.

__________________
Ron - 7 Days A Week Marketing
ABW Best *NEW* Affiliate Manager or OPM 2007
ron @ 7daysaweekmarketing.com | AIM & Yahoo: sevdayweek | MSN: 7-days
Managed Programs at SAS: HolmesStamp.com | Home Gallery Stores

Hi Trevor,

I think you should have a shorter letter to get a communication going with your prospect affiliates. You should just introduce yourself and make the person aware that company you represent is interested to have him/her as a partner.

Cheers,

__________________
Connie Burstin -
Burstin Marketing Group
*Outsourced Affiliate Management* Managing Affiliate Programs Since 1999
MSN: connieburstin-at-hotmail.com
email: cburstin@burstingroup.com

Hi Trevor,
Welcome to ABW!

I agree with Connie. Shorter will be better. It's too long for my attention span!

Here's my thoughts:
-----------------
Who are you (you've got that covered)
Who is Glass.net
Glass.net is a comparative shopping experience for customers who need to replace auto glass (front windshield, side, or rear)

What's in it for me/ What makes your program so unique...
• $1 per unique customer quote set (the three quotes requiring no personal information)
• $12 for a unique lead (requires personal contact information).
• More??

Closer
Sign up for our program today at: (link to sign up program)

ALL your contact information

PS: This offer is an introductory offer only. After the introductory period, the program will maintain a three tiered system with increasing payouts as well as bonuses.
----------------

In addition
I'm uncomfortable with the vagueness of "After the introductory period..." It feels a little sleazy. It's a turn off. If that's what you have to work with, then at least spell it out. After X months... %A %B %C. Because hopefully you are looking for affiliates who are with you long term, so they will be very interested in the "after into period".

Good luck

~Bob

__________________
Friends of Jaclyn - Pediatric Brain Tumor Awareness
I'm not an OPM

I think you've got all the major points in there but they don't need to be in the email itself...

Why not create an affiliate landing page with the details and just put the major "what's in it for them" points in the email. Just a few lines about commissions, conversions, support...the stuff that's important to affiliates and then let them choose to get more info at the landing page. That way they feel in control and not so much "lectured" to.

You could even really show them what you offer once they get there...things you never could or should do in an email. Show details about:
• your datafeed
• best converting creative
• positioning/branding statement
• coupons
• your newsletter archive
• your EPC
• contest results
•*special incentives
• how to be successful

Now they can really see what you offer but you didn't waste their time in an email. Click the GigaGolf link below to see what I do with them.