October 3rd, 2007, 12:23 PM
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Join Date: January 18th, 2005
Location: Mansfield, TX
Posts: 12,202
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Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
· You answer the door before people knock.
· Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
· You ski uphill.
· You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
· You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
· You lick your coffeepot clean.
· You’re the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don’t even work there.
· Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
· You chew on other people’s fingernails.
· Your T-shirt says, “Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.”
· You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
· You can jump-start your car without cables.
· Cocaine is a downer.
· You don’t need a hammer to pound nails.
· Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”
· You don’t sweat, you percolate.
· You buy ½ & ½ by the barrel.
· You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
· You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
· You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
· You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
· Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
· You’ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
· People get dizzy just watching you.
· You’ve worn the finish off your coffee table.
· The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.
· Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
· Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
· Instant coffee takes too long.
· When someone says. “How are you?”, you say, “Good to the last drop.”
· You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
· Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
· You’re offended when people use the word “brew” to mean beer.
· You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
· You can thread a sewing machine, while it’s running.
· You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
· You short out motion detectors.
· You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
· Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
· You think being called a “drip” is a compliment.
· You don’t tan, you roast.
· You can’t even remember your second cup.
· You help your dog chase its tail.
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October 3rd, 2007, 12:46 PM
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Antisocial Media Expert
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Join Date: March 25th, 2006
Location: Go Daddy
Posts: 1,118
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I've tried to sneeze with my eyes open...it doesnt quite work.
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October 3rd, 2007, 12:48 PM
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The Seal of Approval
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Join Date: November 19th, 2006
Location: The Windy City
Posts: 3,093
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First off - there's no such thing as "too much coffee". I'd never ruin a good (or bad) cup of coffee by adding anything to it (besides Kahlua). And I don't attend AA meetings just for the coffee. It's also a great place to meet girls that like to party.
-rematt
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"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Richard Nixon
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October 3rd, 2007, 02:21 PM
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Outsourced Program Manager
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Join Date: November 8th, 2005
Posts: 1,016
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Yesterday I had 8 shots of espresso and a Whoopass energy drink before 2pm. Caffeine is my friend.
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October 4th, 2007, 07:37 AM
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Full Member
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Join Date: January 18th, 2005
Posts: 285
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In Miami, on the way down to breakfast, the elevator got stuck between floors. After about 20 minutes someone pryed the doors open a bit to tell me they would have me out ASAP... did I need anything?
I shouted COFFEE - JUST COFFEE - NOW!!!!
A thermos was quickly provided  As I drank the hot black brew I realized I was truly addicted..... shrugged and finished the entire thermos.
And no... I did not climb the side of the elevator and claw the door open... I would have needed a second thermos
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CharPaula
Staying focused on the bottomline
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October 4th, 2007, 08:33 AM
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AM Navigator
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Join Date: May 10th, 2005
Location: NoVA
Posts: 12,313
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Thank you for this, Michael!! My favorite ones are:
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Originally Posted by MichaelColey
· You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
· You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.
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October 4th, 2007, 08:55 AM
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aka "Beachy"
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Join Date: November 20th, 2005
Location: At the Beach (West Fenwick, DE) or TPA@0W3
Posts: 4,323
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by rematt
...I'd never ruin a good (or bad) cup of coffee by adding anything to it (besides Kahlua)....
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I am in agreement with that - except on a cold winter morning a little blackberry brandy  is also good with a Saturday or Sunday morning cup of coffee. But without the Kahlua or brandy I like my coffee the way nature intended - right out of the bean.  |
October 4th, 2007, 08:58 AM
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Member
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Join Date: September 27th, 2007
Posts: 119
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Think I'm the only one in here who doesn't like coffee that mutch
I'd prefer a nice cup of tea |
October 4th, 2007, 01:13 PM
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Network Rep & ABW Ambassador
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Join Date: September 6th, 2005
Posts: 2,662
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Lolll!!!
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October 4th, 2007, 01:33 PM
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Life is Supposed to be Fun!
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Join Date: January 18th, 2005
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 11,871
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by charpaula
In Miami, on the way down to breakfast, the elevator got stuck between floors. After about 20 minutes someone pryed the doors open a bit to tell me they would have me out ASAP... did I need anything?
I shouted COFFEE - JUST COFFEE - NOW!!!!
A thermos was quickly provided As I drank the hot black brew I realized I was truly addicted..... shrugged and finished the entire thermos.
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OMG - my worst nightmare. Thank God they were able to squeeze a thermos in for you. Would have been horrible to be a smoker in that elevator. 
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Peace,
Rexanne
Rexanne.com
Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic
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October 4th, 2007, 05:16 PM
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Affiliate Manager
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Join Date: September 26th, 2006
Location: Boston
Posts: 953
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I have a Starbucks coffee machine at work that grinds the fresh beans up on the spot and makes you an individual cup of Joe. It is one of the best cups of coffee I have ever had, and I get to have it 5 times a day!
Frangelico is delicous in coffee, i recommend trying it. You dont need a lot, that stuff is fairly sweet.
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October 4th, 2007, 05:25 PM
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Network Rep & ABW Ambassador
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Join Date: September 6th, 2005
Posts: 2,662
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Your boss lets you drink at work?!?!
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October 4th, 2007, 05:26 PM
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Merchant
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Join Date: March 8th, 2006
Posts: 239
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mmmmmmmmmmm coffee....
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David Carter
MagazinesQuick.com
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October 4th, 2007, 05:27 PM
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Merchant
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Join Date: March 8th, 2006
Posts: 239
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And Carolyn, watch your step with that comment, someone may start a good story.
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David Carter
MagazinesQuick.com
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October 4th, 2007, 05:27 PM
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Affiliate Manager
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Join Date: September 26th, 2006
Location: Boston
Posts: 953
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Carolyn - ShareASale
Your boss lets you drink at work?!?!
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You should know by now that i do whatever I please over here.
And no he doesn't. |
October 4th, 2007, 05:42 PM
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aka "Beachy"
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Join Date: November 20th, 2005
Location: At the Beach (West Fenwick, DE) or TPA@0W3
Posts: 4,323
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Brent E.
...Frangelico is delicous in coffee, i recommend trying it. You dont need a lot, that stuff is fairly sweet.
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Ah...yes. I use a splash of that (along with 5 other liquors ) when I mix up my Irish Coffee recipe. It adds just a touch of hazelnut taste. |
October 4th, 2007, 05:46 PM
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The Seal of Approval
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Join Date: November 19th, 2006
Location: The Windy City
Posts: 3,093
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Beachy, I just clicked the Anal Glaucoma link in your signature. I love it!
I know, this has nothing to do with coffee. But I am on my third pot for the day.
-rematt
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"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." - Richard Nixon
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October 4th, 2007, 06:16 PM
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Merchant & PM
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Join Date: March 13th, 2006
Location: Colorado / Florida
Posts: 4,471
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Angel Djambazov
Yesterday I had 8 shots of espresso and a Whoopass energy drink before 2pm. Caffeine is my friend.
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Angel, we welcome you to stop into one of our Mountain Bean Coffee shops when you are in my neck of the woods. The first six shots are on us!!
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I don't twitter..... 
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October 4th, 2007, 06:27 PM
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Merchant & PM
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Join Date: March 13th, 2006
Location: Colorado / Florida
Posts: 4,471
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Brent E.
I have a Starbucks coffee machine at work that grinds the fresh beans up on the spot and makes you an individual cup of Joe. It is one of the best cups of coffee I have ever had, and I get to have it 5 times a day!
Frangelico is delicous in coffee, i recommend trying it. You dont need a lot, that stuff is fairly sweet.
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Brent, IMO your taste in Baseball teams is right on. But to refer to Starbucks as a quality coffee is like calling the Yankees "Boston's team"!! LOL. SB doesn't rate in the top 100. SB reminds me of the King who wore no clothes." They were finally dropped by three airlines after receiving too many passenger complaints about the bitter acidity caused by their burning (as opposed to roasting) of the low quality beans they buy. They do a wonderful job of marketing, but in the Barista world, their coffee is an atrocity. Of course, add enough chocolate, sugar, hazelut, soy, vanila, and more sugar and you can disguise anything. But hey, if you like it, that's all that counts too.
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I don't twitter.....
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October 4th, 2007, 11:02 PM
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Merchant & ABW Ambassador
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Join Date: May 31st, 2006
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 4,354
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Quote:
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You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
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It felt like that when I was studying for my exam with pots and pots of coffee
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Originally Posted by Angel Djambazov
Yesterday I had 8 shots of espresso and a Whoopass energy drink before 2pm. Caffeine is my friend.
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I will be shooting off the wall with that. |
October 9th, 2007, 07:56 AM
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Newbie
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Join Date: October 9th, 2007
Location: St. Louis Missouri
Posts: 5
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omg who drinks 8 shots of espresso? I would very likely die if i did that
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October 9th, 2007, 08:28 PM
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WTF is a job?
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Join Date: January 18th, 2005
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,968
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I would die if I didn't.
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TWITTER LAYOUTS ~ Pimp out your Twitter page with these cute backgrounds and color schemes!
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October 9th, 2007, 09:44 PM
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Life is Supposed to be Fun!
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Join Date: January 18th, 2005
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 11,871
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LOL David - me too.
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Peace,
Rexanne
Rexanne.com
Loving Everyone's Child Creates Magic
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October 10th, 2007, 01:06 PM
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Outsourced Program Manager
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Join Date: November 8th, 2005
Posts: 1,016
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On high pressure days, I easily do that. Normal days are two cup of coffee days. Not saying it's healthy but coffee is one of my few vices. |
October 10th, 2007, 01:24 PM
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Analytics Dude
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Join Date: January 18th, 2005
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 5,270
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I love me some coffee too. I drink way too much. Like Lewis Black at IHOP....
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